Saturday, June 19, 2010

Terms of endearment

Slut. Bitch. Whore. Fucktoy. Cunt.

I am slowly warming up to being called "degrading" names. The boyfriend has always wanted to call me his slut, his whore, his dirty bitch, but in the past I always bristled. I found it disrespectful, and, quite frankly, just plain inaccurate. How much of a slut or a whore could I actually be if I only ever had sex with him?

But, then I started seeing other people, and I decided that I was ok with being called a slut. At least it had become an accurate moniker. Sleeping with two people at the same time certainly fulfils the technical definition of sluttishness.

Now the boyfriend calls me "my little slut."  It's become a term of endearment for us, and I've grown quite fond of it.  I'm still working on the other terms.

Partly I am just hung up on precise language.

I am pretty sure, for example, that if anyone actually paid me for sex I would be more than happy to call myself a whore.  I don't see anything inherently wrong with being a prostitute.  But, I have never actually been paid for sex.  So, I feel...odd...letting someone call me a whore.  If I don't fulfil the technical definition of "whore," than all that is left is the slur, right?  The nasty, cruel subtext that exists only to hurt and subjugate. Why would I want to encourage that?

The boyfriend also likes to call me his "fucktoy," and I have absolutely no problem with this one.  While it's not exactly a term you could use on a stranger without pissing them off, it's also not a common slur either.  I've never heard fucktoy used to shame someone for having sex, unlike the other names I've been discussing.

I like the idea of embracing the other terms--the whore, the bitch, the cunt.  I would love to reclaim all the "dirty" and "degrading" terms.  To make them my own, and to laugh to myself when I hear someone try to use them to hurt and repress.

1 comment:

  1. Pssst. I think you have uncovered a secret! The terms so publicly reviled are actually not just OK, but are actually another form of 'key' that allows men and women experience their inner sexual destiny.

    In seeking to reclaim the descriptors you are also striking a blow against guilt and repression.