Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A Perfect Blow Job

First he ties a harness around my chest with rope, emphasizing my small breasts and providing a point to strap my wrists down behind my back.  Next comes the leather collar around my neck.  When he buckles it in place, it forces my neck straight, my chin up. I feel the bindfold slide over my eyes, and I move into darkenss.

He pushes me on to my knees on the floor than presses my torso forward onto the bed.  I have to trust him to move my body safely, and I feel wildly vulnerable as he guides my body with his hands.

His fingers work their way down to my ass, prying me open and forcing their way inside of me. The cold, lube-slicked ball of the ass hook presses against my anus, stretching it painfully until it enters my ass with a pop. I sigh in relief until I I feel his fingers tangle in my hair. He wraps the rope around the hair in his fist and pulls my head back as far as the collar will allow, tying the rope off to the hook in my ass.

I feel his fingers on my lips and I open my mouth obediently.  I taste the metallic tang of the ring gag an instant before he forces it between my teeth.  It forces my jaw uncomfortably wide and the straps bite into my face as he buckles it behind my head.

I am trapped on my knees with my head forced back, collard, blindfolded, gagged.

I hear the rattle of a small chain the instant before the clamps bite into the sensitive flesh of my nipples.  I scream a little, but it does me no good.

"Awe. Does that hurt?"

I moan in response.

"Good.  You're going to suffer for me, slut."

His cock enters my mouth, then my throat.  I gag and choke and struggle for breath, but there is nothing I can do.  I am completely under his control.

He slides his cock down the back of my throat and holds my nose.  I struggle not to panic and fail.  He grabs my hair to hold me in place, and I feel the hook shift deep within my ass.

"That's right.  Take my cock like a good little slut."

I try to relax.  To be his good little slut.  To let him fuck my throat as he would my pussy, and I am rewarded with a moment to gasp for breath before he plunges his cock down my throat again.

My knees hurt from the hard floor.  The rope bites into my breasts and my shoulders pull from the way my wrists are twisted up behind my back.  My neck aches from the sharp angle, but pulling forward merely rocks the hook forced deep inside of my ass.  My nipples radiate pain through my entire chest from the clamps, and my jaw burns from being being forced open so wide. The leather straps on the gag bite into the sides of my mouth.  I can't properly swallow, so the spit is coating his cock and running down his balls, my face.

It is an agonizing position, but I love the way it makes me feel like his little cock sucking slut. I think only about pleasing him, about breathing around his cock and forcing my body to endure the position.

It turns me on to know that he is enjoying my suffering as his thrusts open up my throat and make me gag until my whole body convulses around his cock. Enjoying it as he reaches down to pull the chain connecting my nipple clamps until I scream and choke with his cock still buried in the back of my throat.

I like knowing that he is going to fuck my mouth until he empties his balls down my throat and I swallow every last drop of his come.  I like knowing that I will be a nothing but a mess of pain and spit and tears and desire when he is done with me.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Wartenberg pinwheel review

The Wartenberg pinwheel is a fun little toy for sensation play.  The wheel itself has about two dozen spiky "pins" that manage to feel quite prickly without being sharp enough to easily puncture skin. 

The spiked wheel rotates quite freely on it's axis. So, the tips can be dragged extremely lightly and quickly over the skin to create a slightly tickly sensation.  Or, they can be dragged hard and slow (or hard and fast) for a more intense sensation, which some people say feels like being cut with a sharp blade.  I don't really agree that it feels quite that intense, but I've never done any intentional cutting, so I might not be the best authority on the subject.

It is possible that you could break the skin with this toy, but you would have to press extremely hard to do so.  The Wartenberg wheel was originally designed by a doctor (Dr. Wartenberg, if you can believe it.) to test nerve response, so it is meant to create intense sensations without causing damage to the skin. 

I find that if I press hard as I roll it, the wheel leaves a line of tiny red dots on my skin that last for a few hours.  But, it feels like I would have to put quite a bit more muscle behind it if I wanted to see blood.

And, speaking of bodily fluids, the wheel appears to made from stainless steel, so it should be easy to sanitize between users if necessary. Bleach or boiling water should do the trick, or soap and water if you just need to do some everyday cleaning. Obviously, make sure to dry it off, so it does not rust.

Honestly, the only thing that I really dislike about this toy is the little plastic pouch it comes in.  The pouch really isn't sturdy enough to hold up to use as long-term storage for the sharp and pointy pinwheel. And, you really are going to want some sort of decent cover for this toy, since you don't want it floating around unprotected in your toy box waiting to poke your fingers or scratch your other toys.

Otherwise this is a nice toy, appropriate for anyone who wants to experiment with new sensations.

This toy was provided to me free of charge by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an honest product review. 

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Some thoughts on porn

Once upon a time, John and I spent a very long day driving past such scenic sights as vast cattle feedlots and slaughterhouses. We followed this with a meal in a diner that offered a selection of fine, fine boxed wines.

As you can probably imagine, we were more than happy to retreat to our cheap motel room and watch some cable while lounging in bed. And, that's when we accidentally discovered the hottest porn I have ever seen. Intriguingly, it was an episode of HBO's Real Sex featuring a lesbian oil wrestling party.  

Now, in general, I seem to be a pretty heterosexual female, and "girl on girl" action generally doesn't do much for me. This segment was just fucking hot, though. It was just footage of "real" women (i.e. no fake boobs, fake hair or fake tans) writhing and wrestling in vast quantities of olive oil. 

They specified that the oil was olive.  Maybe it had some sort of sapphic significance?

Anyway, it was just ridiculously hot to see all these human bodies slicked down with oil and tangled together. I don't recall that there was even much genital contact or anything that would more traditionally be called sex. Still, it was the by far the sexiest porn I've ever seen.

I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that it just looked so real.  I am sure their were elements of choreography, but overall everyone seemed to be genuinely enjoying themselves immensely. Enjoying the wrestling and getting a sexual charge from it.  

But, the lighting, camera work and editing was professional, so the experience of watching wasn't marred by grainy picture quality or crappy camera angles the way amateur porn so often is. 

Maybe what I want from porn is amateur enthusiasm mixed with professional production values?  Does anyone make this?  I am typing this in the middle of a black out, so I can't check. but maybe tomorrow...

As an aside: Fatale Media produced a full length pornographic movie called Take Her Down! based on the premise of this oil wrestling party.  I was so taken with the Real Sex episode that I bought the DVD for John for his birthday. Sadly, I found it really disappointing overall.  It had an odd story line that I never quite followed and a distinct lack of the sexy oil-slicked, writhing masses that had attracted me in the first place.  It did however have a really hot strap-on shower scene that we both quite enjoyed and which inspired our own very hot shower blow job scene.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


I have decided that I will be calling the boyfriend "John" from now on.  This is a joke that is funny only to me. Sorry about that.

I think he is a little bit disappointed that I am not calling him Beast or Wolverine or something fierce sounding.  I offered to call him Water Bear, but he was not so amused for some reason. 

I think I am funny.

e[lust] #17

 Photo courtesy of Elle from Kink Unleashed

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #18? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

Editor's Note:  A little change in how things are done for this edition -  you'll notice there are no "Top 3" picks - due in part to the holiday I ended up being extremely short on judges and I didn't have enough for fair voting. So instead, I expanded my "Featured Post". (If you'd like to volunteer to be an occasional judge for e[lust], just email me, Lilly, at questions.e.lust @ Also, please be sure to check out the new summer schedule in effect until the 20th edition.

~ Featured Posts (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Why Pride is Still Important - When someone tells me that they don’t think Pride is necessary, I can’t help but believe that they go through life with tunnel vision. I live in New York where for the most part I can walk around being a big ol’ queen and I’ll make it home alive, but there are people who live in places where they can’t. Even here in New York you’ll get called a faggot from time to time by passing cars or groups of punks, and even here in New York I hear stories of people getting the shit kicked out of them just because they were gay.

Fantasies and Condoms - Our culture has created a narrative in which sex only feels good and looks sexy if no one is protected. We’re all suffering from this narrative, but sex workers are probably suffering the most.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Some days we need a little hope - I encourage you to practice random acts of kindness that could be worthy of inclusion on the site ( Be nice, be caring, let your heart open up just for the sake of bringing someone some happiness or comfort. Do you know how good it feels to just give?

See also: Pleasurists #83 and #84 for all your sex toy review needs.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Missing Gene

On my trip, I also got to meet the girl that the other boyfriend has been seeing for the last few months or so. Apparently she sometimes reads this blog (Hi, K!), so I suppose it would behoove me to hold my tongue if I didn't like her, but luckily that's not a problem.

The three of us had a tasty dinner, with insane amounts of pasta, some wine and lots of pleasant conversation. I have to admit that I was slightly worried that things might be awkward, or, worse yet, I would be jealous and that would make things awkward.

I haven't really felt much jealousy about any of the activities that the bf has gotten himself up to in the last nine months or so since I asked for an open relationship. Afterall, I asked for it, and I've had my own activities to keep myself occupied. But, then again, I never actually had to come face to face with someone he's been sleeping with for months.

I think that in the back of my mind I feel like I should be jealous.  Everything I have ever read or watched or heard seems to indicate that jealousy is the natural reaction to meeting someone your significant other is intimate with. I just don't feel it, though.  I feel happy that they are having fun together.  Happy they aren't quite so lonely, and happy that they are enjoying themselves.  Not to mention the fact that the bf is a far more pleasant person to talk to when he has been laid recently.

I know that there are many poly/kinky people who feel that jealousy is a sign of weakness and look down on anyone who lets it influence their actions.  But, my total lack of jealousy makes me feel a bit deficient.   Like I might be a genetic mutant lacking some sort of normal human response to everyday situations.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


I'm finally back from my summer travels.  It was a great trip.  I always enjoy hanging out with my fellow science nerds, and any meeting where most of the real action happens over drinks is a winner in my book.

I also got to hang out with the boyfriend for a few days, which was lovely.  We sampled some bourbon, visited a  really, really big cave, took in some fireworks and played tourist in a pretty city that I had never explored before.

And, of course, we had lots of awesome sex.  I scored a great deal on some Njoy toys before I left town, and much fun was had playing with my new pure wand and plug.

But, overall the sex was pretty vanilla.  I enjoyed it quite a bit, but I find vanilla sex a bit boring to write about.  So, no juicy new sex posts just yet.

I just haven't been feeling terribly submissive lately. I can't seem to get to that happy place where the painful pinches and blows really, really turn me on.  The pinches and slaps and whatnot just seem to hurt lately.  There is no pleasure in the pain, the way there used to be.

I am assuming this is a temporary issue, but I really wish that I had even the slightest idea of what brought on this recent slump.