Monday, May 31, 2010

Open Letter to OKCupid

This just showed up in my inbox today (emphasis theirs):

We are very pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users. The scales recently tipped in your favor, and we thought you'd like to know.

How can we say this with confidence? We've tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other people's reactions to you in QuickMatch and Quiver.
. . .
Your new elite status comes with one important privilege:
You will now see more attractive people in your match results.
This new status won't affect your actual match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But the people we recommend will be more attractive. Also! You'll be shown to more attractive people in their match results.
. . .
Suddenly, the world is your oyster. Login now and reap the rewards. And, no, we didn't just send this email to everyone on OkCupid. Go ask an ugly friend and see. 

Dear OkCupid,

WTF!?!?!?. I cannot even begin to tell you how offensive this is to me.  As if someone's attractiveness is a quantifiable with a fucking computer algorithm.  And those people who don't make the cut are somehow unworthy of even being viewed by my somehow superior eyes.  Obviously, if someone is arbitrarily declared unattractive their profile isn't even worth the three minutes of my time it would take me to pursue it?  Seriously?  

Is this supposed to make me feel superior to the other half of the population which I have apparently only just risen above (after 7+ months of having a profile on your site).  Am I seriously supposed to feel good that after seven months enough "ugly" people have joined or enough "attractive" people have left to bump me from "ugly" to "attractive"?  Even if I bought into the idea that your website could quantify attractiveness, how would this be flattering news to me?

"Go ask an ugly friend," OKCupid?  Are you for real?  I don't have a single friend that is half as ugly as the sentiments you just expressed in this e-mail.  

Seriously, OKCupid.  I really used to like you.  I've recommended you to friends, and, just a few days ago, to my little sister.  I met the other boyfriend with your help, and I think he's quite spiffy.  But, no.  This is not OK, OKCupid.  You need to clean up your act or I will be breaking up with you.


P.S. Seriously!?!?

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