Friday, July 9, 2010

Missing Gene

On my trip, I also got to meet the girl that the other boyfriend has been seeing for the last few months or so. Apparently she sometimes reads this blog (Hi, K!), so I suppose it would behoove me to hold my tongue if I didn't like her, but luckily that's not a problem.

The three of us had a tasty dinner, with insane amounts of pasta, some wine and lots of pleasant conversation. I have to admit that I was slightly worried that things might be awkward, or, worse yet, I would be jealous and that would make things awkward.

I haven't really felt much jealousy about any of the activities that the bf has gotten himself up to in the last nine months or so since I asked for an open relationship. Afterall, I asked for it, and I've had my own activities to keep myself occupied. But, then again, I never actually had to come face to face with someone he's been sleeping with for months.

I think that in the back of my mind I feel like I should be jealous.  Everything I have ever read or watched or heard seems to indicate that jealousy is the natural reaction to meeting someone your significant other is intimate with. I just don't feel it, though.  I feel happy that they are having fun together.  Happy they aren't quite so lonely, and happy that they are enjoying themselves.  Not to mention the fact that the bf is a far more pleasant person to talk to when he has been laid recently.

I know that there are many poly/kinky people who feel that jealousy is a sign of weakness and look down on anyone who lets it influence their actions.  But, my total lack of jealousy makes me feel a bit deficient.   Like I might be a genetic mutant lacking some sort of normal human response to everyday situations.

1 comment:

  1. Hey E!
    I realized after playing last night that I haven't read your blog in a few weeks. I found this post to be very interesting, and I have written one that is quite similar. Someday I'll let you and 'John' read my blog!