Some thoughts on porn

Once upon a time, John and I spent a very long day driving past such scenic sights as vast cattle feedlots and slaughterhouses. We followed this with a meal in a diner that offered a selection of fine, fine boxed wines.


As you can probably imagine, we were more than happy to retreat to our cheap motel room and watch some cable while lounging in bed. And, that's when we accidentally discovered the hottest porn I have ever seen. Intriguingly, it was an episode of HBO's Real Sex featuring a lesbian oil wrestling party.  


Now, in general, I seem to be a pretty heterosexual female, and "girl on girl" action generally doesn't do much for me. This segment was just fucking hot, though. It was just footage of "real" women (i.e. no fake boobs, fake hair or fake tans) writhing and wrestling in vast quantities of olive oil. 


They specified that the oil was olive.  Maybe it had some sort of sapphic significance?


Anyway, it was just ridiculously hot to see all these human bodies slicked down with oil and tangled together. I don't recall that there was even much genital contact or anything that would more traditionally be called sex. Still, it was the by far the sexiest porn I've ever seen.


I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that it just looked so real.  I am sure their were elements of choreography, but overall everyone seemed to be genuinely enjoying themselves immensely. Enjoying the wrestling and getting a sexual charge from it.  


But, the lighting, camera work and editing was professional, so the experience of watching wasn't marred by grainy picture quality or crappy camera angles the way amateur porn so often is. 


Maybe what I want from porn is amateur enthusiasm mixed with professional production values?  Does anyone make this?  I am typing this in the middle of a black out, so I can't check. but maybe tomorrow...




As an aside: Fatale Media produced a full length pornographic movie called Take Her Down! based on the premise of this oil wrestling party.  I was so taken with the Real Sex episode that I bought the DVD for John for his birthday. Sadly, I found it really disappointing overall.  It had an odd story line that I never quite followed and a distinct lack of the sexy oil-slicked, writhing masses that had attracted me in the first place.  It did however have a really hot strap-on shower scene that we both quite enjoyed and which inspired our own very hot shower blow job scene.

Announcement

I have decided that I will be calling the boyfriend "John" from now on.  This is a joke that is funny only to me. Sorry about that.

I think he is a little bit disappointed that I am not calling him Beast or Wolverine or something fierce sounding.  I offered to call him Water Bear, but he was not so amused for some reason. 

I think I am funny.

e[lust] #17

 Photo courtesy of Elle from Kink Unleashed


Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #18? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

Editor's Note:  A little change in how things are done for this edition -  you'll notice there are no "Top 3" picks - due in part to the holiday I ended up being extremely short on judges and I didn't have enough for fair voting. So instead, I expanded my "Featured Post". (If you'd like to volunteer to be an occasional judge for e[lust], just email me, Lilly, at questions.e.lust @ gmail.com) Also, please be sure to check out the new summer schedule in effect until the 20th edition.

~ Featured Posts (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Why Pride is Still Important - When someone tells me that they don’t think Pride is necessary, I can’t help but believe that they go through life with tunnel vision. I live in New York where for the most part I can walk around being a big ol’ queen and I’ll make it home alive, but there are people who live in places where they can’t. Even here in New York you’ll get called a faggot from time to time by passing cars or groups of punks, and even here in New York I hear stories of people getting the shit kicked out of them just because they were gay.




Fantasies and Condoms - Our culture has created a narrative in which sex only feels good and looks sexy if no one is protected. We’re all suffering from this narrative, but sex workers are probably suffering the most.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Some days we need a little hope - I encourage you to practice random acts of kindness that could be worthy of inclusion on the site (GivesMeHope.com). Be nice, be caring, let your heart open up just for the sake of bringing someone some happiness or comfort. Do you know how good it feels to just give?

See also: Pleasurists #83 and #84 for all your sex toy review needs.

Missing Gene

On my trip, I also got to meet the girl that the other boyfriend has been seeing for the last few months or so. Apparently she sometimes reads this blog (Hi, K!), so I suppose it would behoove me to hold my tongue if I didn't like her, but luckily that's not a problem.

The three of us had a tasty dinner, with insane amounts of pasta, some wine and lots of pleasant conversation. I have to admit that I was slightly worried that things might be awkward, or, worse yet, I would be jealous and that would make things awkward.

I haven't really felt much jealousy about any of the activities that the bf has gotten himself up to in the last nine months or so since I asked for an open relationship. Afterall, I asked for it, and I've had my own activities to keep myself occupied. But, then again, I never actually had to come face to face with someone he's been sleeping with for months.

I think that in the back of my mind I feel like I should be jealous.  Everything I have ever read or watched or heard seems to indicate that jealousy is the natural reaction to meeting someone your significant other is intimate with. I just don't feel it, though.  I feel happy that they are having fun together.  Happy they aren't quite so lonely, and happy that they are enjoying themselves.  Not to mention the fact that the bf is a far more pleasant person to talk to when he has been laid recently.

I know that there are many poly/kinky people who feel that jealousy is a sign of weakness and look down on anyone who lets it influence their actions.  But, my total lack of jealousy makes me feel a bit deficient.   Like I might be a genetic mutant lacking some sort of normal human response to everyday situations.

Back

I'm finally back from my summer travels.  It was a great trip.  I always enjoy hanging out with my fellow science nerds, and any meeting where most of the real action happens over drinks is a winner in my book.

I also got to hang out with the boyfriend for a few days, which was lovely.  We sampled some bourbon, visited a  really, really big cave, took in some fireworks and played tourist in a pretty city that I had never explored before.

And, of course, we had lots of awesome sex.  I scored a great deal on some Njoy toys before I left town, and much fun was had playing with my new pure wand and plug.

But, overall the sex was pretty vanilla.  I enjoyed it quite a bit, but I find vanilla sex a bit boring to write about.  So, no juicy new sex posts just yet.

I just haven't been feeling terribly submissive lately. I can't seem to get to that happy place where the painful pinches and blows really, really turn me on.  The pinches and slaps and whatnot just seem to hurt lately.  There is no pleasure in the pain, the way there used to be.

I am assuming this is a temporary issue, but I really wish that I had even the slightest idea of what brought on this recent slump.

No Sex Please?

x

I just read the most fascinatingly problematic article on sexuality from Sunday's New York Times.   The title, "No Sex Please, We're Middle Class," caught my eye at number two on today's most e-mailed article list.  I was expecting a treatise on the ways in which middle-class values contrasted with the values of the working and/or upper classes in repressive ways.

What I got instead was a winding rant about how much better things were in the good old days when men were men and women were women.  Before improved sexual parity in the work place abolished the "intriguingly separate worlds" of the sexes and caused "suffering from over-familiarity" and "a curse of the mundane."

Basically Camille Paglia is arguing that a female version of Viagra will never work because low female libido is caused by the current set of middle class values.  The main problem with her argument is that she provides absolutely zero evidence that the average middle class woman of today has a lower libido and/or less satisfying sex life than women of either another era and/or class.

And while the total lack of support for her central thesis is certainly problematic for arguing her point, it is actually not my biggest problem with the article.  My problem lies in the blatant racism, sexism and classicism that runs throughout the piece.

Middle class white women are characterized as frigid office drones who repress their sexuality and whose very presence in the work place forces men to "neuter themselves," while "multiracial lower-middle-class and working-class" individuals apparently have better libidos because they can be found shopping at the "racy lingerie" store Victoria's Secret in "white middle class" suburban shopping malls.

Without some sort of evidence (of any sort) to back up her assertions, Paglia's portrayal of people of color amounts to nothing more than racial stereotyping that has existed since it was used as part of the justification for keeping African American as slaves--when dark skinned individual were seen as having an animalistic hyper-sexuality that helped to justify treating these people as animals and therefore as property.

I really am quite intrigued by Paglia's central tenet in this article.  We certainly do live in a culture that is quick to medicate, and there are plenty of examples how this can indeed have unintended consequences. And, a lot could be argued about whether it is necessary to pathologize what may very well be natural variation in libido level. We don't expect everyone to be the same hight or run at the same speed, so why should we expect everyone to be equally sexual?

But, there are just as certainly countless people whose lives have been dramatically improved by all of these medication that we are so quick to criticize. Pretty much any bodily function we have can and does malfunction on occasion, so is there any reason to believe that female libido is somehow different?

There are vast quantities of space to debate this issue.  I just don't think a long whine about how the grass is greener for everyone else (based on nothing but racist and sexist stereotypes) is the way to make a point about female sexuality and the necessity of female libido enhancers.

I have even more thoughts about this article. But, I am at a conference this week, and it's time for me to get back to talking about obscure and nerdy things with my follow affectionados of strange and obscure organisms.

e[lust] #16

 Photo courtesy of Janie

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #17? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Sex Pistil's Guide to Sucking Great Cock - The penis is not something to be feared. It’s not something to hide from, and it’s definitely not something to be put up with the good china and used for special occasions only. The penis is alive and breathing, so to speak, and as such, is not a one-size-fits-all, if-one-guy-likes-it, all-guys-like-it kind of entity.

An Erotic Vignette -  "You will come, and when you do, you will yell my name. Because I own you." "No," she whispered again, terrified. The last part of herself... total control over her pleasure, the responses of her body... surely he couldn't... but his eyes said he could.

Dual Erotica: Tahoe - We finally reach our floor and excitement wars with nervousness in my head. After all, it's been a long, long time for me. I don't have the body I once had; I'm not nearly as experienced as you are. But there is no turning back, not that I want to

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Does Size Matter? - I am most definitely a size queen when it comes to my sex toys…but there’s a reason for that. Using a dildo is very VERY different from how I get fucked by a guy.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

I Want It All - Gender (identity) is different to (biological) sex. Biologically there are males and females, and those who identify as neither (intersex). But it’s sure as hell not that simple, no matter what society says.

See also: Pleasurists #80 and #81 for all your sex toy review needs.